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Seldom Asked Questions

I’m working on a TV show/podcast/book/newspaper story. Could I interview you about… (Insert fascinating subject here)?

OK, I had to move this question and the following one to the very top because I get asked it WAY too often. I’m really not interested in publicity, so no. I’ve had my 15 minutes years ago and got that over. And like Groucho Marx not wanting to be a member of any club that would have him, I’m suspicious of the judgement of anyone who finds what I do “interesting”.

Are movie/TV rights available for whatever?

OK, I know you probably think that’s an outlandish question and I’ll never be asked it. But I have been already….a number of times. And as with the previous SAQ I have no interest in publicity, so no.  Actually, full-on hell no for this one. I find it an incredibly sad reflection of the lack of decent ideas in the world of entertainment.

What’s up with the name of your site, OtherHand?  What’s it mean?

It’s OtherHand.org instead of .com because the .com domain was already taken.  Oh, you mean the OtherHand part??  For that you should peruse the fine book, “Area 51: The Dreamland Chronicles”, by David Darlington, specifically Chapter Six.  That’s all I’m gonna say.  Really, it’s worth finding a used copy.  It’s the best capturing of the craziness that surrounded Area 51 when it first exploded into popular culture in the 1990s.

Are you on Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat or any other social networking site-du-jour?

No.  This sort of social networking nonsense has never interested me.  It seems to me that much of the content on these sites runs along the lines of “Hey everyone…I just took the most fantastic shit!  OMG!!!”.  And if you’re really lucky, they’ll post a pic. I figure if I do anything that might be of interest to others (especially fantastic shits), you’ll find me on the good ol’ Google.  Otherwise, you don’t want to hear about it.

 I like your site.  Would you like to trade links between your site and mine?

I don’t trade links.  If you think your site is really amazing (and it probably isn’t), send me a link and I may have a look.  If I think it’s great (and I probably won’t), I might add it to my site.  I don’t care if you link to my site or not.

Hey, I liked the story of your hike to Turd Blossom Flats!  Could I get GPS coordinates/tracks/directions?

No.  Everything I’m willing to give out is already in whatever piece I wrote.  Maybe there’s a reason I don’t want to give out detailed info for some locations.  The world is full of idiots reading things on the Innerwebz then running out and either mucking them up or getting themselves hurt.  Ever hear of the Mojave Phone Booth and what happened to it?

 Does your site have an RSS feed?

Nope, I fail to see any benefit.  To me.  OK, OK, turns out setting up an RSS feed for static pages is much more of a pain in the butt than for bloggy pages. But I did it. So there.

Some of your writing is a little harsh or crude.  Do you have to write like that?

I don’t have to, but I choose to.  It amuses me, as does creating this website.  If it does not amuse you, there are probably about 346 million other websites for you to visit.

Do you think you’re being funny?

Closely related to the previous SAQ and something I was often asked as a child by persons of authority.  The answer is, I’m not sure, but I hope so.

Your site’s layout and design sucks!

That’s more of a statement than a question.  What can I say, I like minimalism and I don’t want to waste time learning intricacies of web design when there are so many other fun things to do.

I really like an article/picture/map/lewd drawing on your site.  Can I use it on mine?

This is the Internet and everybody steals from everybody, so it’s really nice of you to at least ask.  The answer is sure you can!  Feel free to use information on this site as you wish, as long as you provide proper attribution/blame to me.  Unless your web site is threatening the government or something like that, in which case you can leave my name off.

I’m a good hiker and would really like to join you when you go off looking for missing people.   Could I help?

Uh, no thank you.  You see, I don’t know you or know your abilities.  And there’s a chance (maybe a good one), that you’re a nut job.   Now the people I do go with are nut jobs, but I know them well and their abilities (or lack, thereof).  They are my nutjobs!  They are trained and I don’t have to spend any of my focus being concerned on how they are doing.  And with these losers, should I really care anyway?  The point of putting up the data I did is to get people to go out and do things on their own.  So do it.

Hey, I see comments are closed for your postings.  How can I comment?

You can’t.  I gave considerable thought as to whether I wanted to allow comments on my posts and decided against it for several reasons.  First, I want to control the narrative.  I’m a control freak.  Second, comments like “Wow, great story!” really don’t add anything to it (although those type of comments are better than, “Your writing sucks giant donkey balls!”).  Finally, there’s a lot of spam that makes it into these blog comments and being basically a lazy ass, I don’t want to have to keep an eye on it.  If you really, really feel compelled to make a comment, you can also use the Contact Page and send me an email.

How can I get in contact with you?

Why that would be via the Contact Page, of course.  Oh joy, I can hardly wait….